Lydia is a wonderful mediator to have on our volunteer roster. In addition to the excellent feedback that I get from her co-mediators and participants, she also gets high marks from other staff members. Whenever we have a difficult mediation session to staff I'm likely to hear from other staff members, "Have you considered Lydia?", and my answer is almost always "of course I did". Because she is an excellent mediator, Lydia mediates a wide variety of mediations with co-mediators at every skill level. Since I've been volunteer coordinator, she's helped me out on more occasions than I care to recall. When Lydia signs up to mediate, she doesn't just pick one case, she signs up for several at a time, and usually takes one or more of the upcoming sessions that would otherwise be canceled.

Lydia demonstrates a real dedication to offering participants the best possible process. During a particularly challenging mediation that unexpectedly went to a second session, Lydia and her co-mediator (former Mediator of the Month, Paula Arciprete-Lancaster) scheduled a strategy session in between sessions to determine the best way to move the process along and to help the participants get what they both were looking for. Lydia and her co-mediator's participants were especially difficult and one was even aggressive towards the mediators. Independently scheduling the strategy session shows commitment to not only learning and developing skills in the process, but also shows respect to the participants by ensuring that they get an agreement that works for everyone.

Lydia's commitment to mediation doesn't end when she's not volunteering at CM. She'll be working to offer mediation to families involved in formal court processes through the Baltimore City Circuit Court's family division. (See her bio below for more details) So Lydia doesn't only help CM offer quality mediations, but is also reaching out to participants in the legal setting, and helping expose her fellow law students to mediation and ADR processes.

I love working with Lydia. Every time we mediate together, even if it's a no-show, we usually spend an hour just talking about the process or new trends in the field. It's a pleasure and an honor to recognize Lydia Nussbaum as April 2010's Mediator of the Month.


Want to know more about Lydia? Here is a bit about her in her own words:

I first became involved in mediation during the summer of 2007 when I attended CMP’s basic 45 hour training for volunteers. I had just finished my first year of law school and was completely dissatisfied with the traditional, adversarial model in which law schools train their students. Based on what I learned about the law and the legal process in the first year, there appeared to be no opportunity for parties to a disagreement to tell their stories, for them to find common ground and build consensus, and to ultimately make their own decisions about the future. I came to Community Mediation looking for instruction on alternatives to dispute resolution and found much, much more. I learned about listening empathetically while still maintaining impartiality. I saw the effect a simple reflection could have on a defensive participant. I learned that resolving a conflict is the parties’ responsibility, not mine. And, I found a way to engage constructively with the residents of Baltimore City’s communities. For showing me all of this, I owe CMP a debt of gratitude.

Since joining CMP, I have discovered that there are powerful new forces in the legal community that are working to make alternative forms of dispute resolution like mediation more widely available. For example, I will be working for the next two years with University of Baltimore law students to provide mediation services in Baltimore City Circuit Court’s family division, specifically for cases involving child custody and visitation. I am excited to be involved in this new area of the law but will always consider myself a community mediator first and foremost.

I got into mediation as a result of first being a participant in a mediation back in the fall of 2003.  I attended eight sessions that I thought would have resulted in a written agreement but the other party refused to sign the agreement.  As a result, I had to secure an attorney to handle the matter.  About six months later I inquired about the training to become a volunteer mediator and during the summer of 2004 I was trained at Community Mediation in Baltimore by the former Executive Director at CMP and Errika Bridgeford.  Mediation became part of my new mission in life.  It allowed me to help others while processing my own personal drama as a participant in mediation six months prior.  I wanted to make an impact in my community by helping others have difficult conversations. 

I have received and given what I call "a gift at the table" as a result of my volunteer experience with Community Mediation.  The gift is the opportunity to conduct the mediation process that empowers participants to determine their own solutions.  Another aspect of the "gift at the table" is my sense of fulfillment when I see lives changed, relationships restored, friendships renewed, neighbors reconciled and pieces of the puzzle put together by the participants themselves to establish PEACE. 

My volunteer experience at Community Mediation in Baltimore City has allowed me to become part of a wonderful community of mediators.  I have new associates whom I love dearly and have learned so much from over the past five years.  Truly, the more I learn, the more I find out how much I don't know because mediators are ever sharing their experiences and scenarios on how the we can improve techniques, etc.  Being a volunteermediator is truly a badge of honor. 

My work in mediation is actually more than just volunteer work.   I made a career change in 2008 (after 20 years with the Maryland Division of Correction) so that I could be more connected to the mediation community and support the work of other community mediation centers and other volunteers in this field.  My job with the District Court of Maryland Alternative Dispute Resolution Office is to coordinate the scheduling of over 300 alternative dispute resolution volunteers across the state of Maryland for the Day of Trial Programs.  I also coordinate the annual volunteer appreciation events for our volunteers, track the progress of new volunteers in the apprentice process and assist in recruiting new volunteers.  These volunteers consist of attorneys and mediators who help participants have a discussion to resolve their civil matters.  Many judges in the State of Maryland support our program and appreciate the work of both mediators and settlement conference practitioners for the day of trial programs. 

I like to work directly with other people.  I want to be an encouraging part of my communities.  I also need to do this, for my own encouragement, enrichment, and general sanity. 

It can be hard to find "community work" that doesn't involve evaluating people, telling them what to do, and trying to make them do it.  (Not necessarily in that order.)  With this mediation model, participating in my communities is about listening to people, eliciting their own ideas about what to do, and letting them do it. 

I love this model.  I believe in it.  As Jai Brooks puts it, I've totally drunk the kool-aid on it.  It's concrete, and it's evolving.  It encapsulates so many things that are important to me.

I also love learning to let my mediator self show up, and to trust that it will.  (The previous sentence is trademarked by Erricka Bridgeford.)  Learning to be, as Shelley Marshall wrote, "open", "clear", "thoroughly engaged".  Reminding myself that who I am is not just about how I express myself.  Who I am is also about how I listen, and how I am present in a room. It's hard for me to talk about Community Mediation without sounding like an an advertisement, or some kind of inspirational pamphlet.  And while I try to avoid being the thousand-watt white lady with too many teeth, I can be unnervingly enthusiastic.

That said, I feel very lucky to have time to commit to volunteering right now, and to have found an opportunity that seems to fit me so well.  Again, Shelley Marshall really spoke for me:  "I am so grateful to get to be a part of the CM community....It's a creative, living, loving force, in there..."

From the start, Community Mediation--or, in pamphlet mode, The People! The Place! The Process!--has made me feel welcomed, included, respected, and valued.  As I am, and for who I am.  I don't take that for granted.

I am so grateful to get to be a part of the CM community.  The enthusiasm and care for participants and mediators, alike, is so evident.  When picking up the mediation packet, I sense the buzz in the building.  It's a creative, living, loving force, in there, and I always feel like I've had a little lift from being in presence with the CM staff.  I feel really lucky to have found such a resonant home to be a volunteer.

Acting as a co-mediator offers me the opportunity to experience something new, every time.  In a mediation, even "familiar" disputes have their own flavor.  So, listening as a new story unfolds, as participants reveal, what they will, of themselves, as tensions ease and flare, again- all these are new in the moment and so require complete attention/presence in the moment, with them.

In addition, as a co-mediator, I am tasked with checking my expectations, judgments- my own "stories", if you will- at the door, so that what unfolds in the mediation belongs to the participants.

These two elements are such a gift to the rest of my life.  That is, the practice of removing my ego, my"self" from the listening and staying in the present moment- it makes me able, when I access it in my day-to-day life (which happens less than I would prefer!), to be the best version of myself- open, clear, available and thoroughly engaged.  

I sought to do mediation because I like people and hearing their stories.  I had no idea what I was getting into......but I'm so glad I got into it!